- The Reckoning by John Grisham
- The Guardians by John Grisham
- Regeneration by Pat Barker
- Willie by Willie O’Ree
- The Collectors by David Baldacci
- Norco ’80 by Peter Houlahan
- The Last Kingdom by Bernard Cornwell
- Stone Cold by David Baldacci
- The Pale Horseman by Bernard Cornwell
- Lords of the North by Bernard Cornwell
- Divine Justice by David Baldacci
- Hell’s Corner by Bernard Cornwell
- Sword Song by Bernard Cornwell
- A Time for Mercy by John Grisham
- Faith After Doubt by Brian McLaren
- First Person Sungular by Haruki Murakami
- The Burning Land by Bernard Cornwell
- Killing Commendatorre by Haruki Murakami
- Sarum by Edward Rutherfurd
- Call Me Indian by Fred Sasakamoose
- Freeing Jesus by Diana Butler Bass
- New York by Edward Rutherfurd
- China by Edward Rutherfurd
- Sacred Earth, Sacred Soul by John Philip Newell
- Paris by Edward Rutherfurd
- Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation
by Kristin Kobes Du Mez
- Where the Light Fell by Philip Yancey
- Harlem Shuffle by Colson Whitehead
- The Four Winds by Kristin Hannah
- The Every by Dave Eggers
- Hail Mary by Andy Weir
- Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr
- The Plot by Jean Hanff Korelitz
- No Cure For Being Human by Kate Bowler
- Pawn of Prophecy by David Eddings
2021 has been another crazy year and once again, one thing that’s kept me going is good new music.
Here are my favourite albums from 2020 in no particular order.
- A Beginner’s Mind – Sufjan Steven and Angelo De Augustine
- Julien Baker – Little Oblivions
- I Don’t Live Here Anymore – The War on Drugs
- Long Lost – Lord Huron
- Pressure Machine – The Killers
- Sob Rock – John Mayer
- Simon and the Island (self-titled)
- Van Weezer – Weezer
- Blink Once – Arkells
- Into the Mystery – NEEDTOBREATHE
- interrobang – Switchfoot
- Music of the Spheres – Coldplay
- Medicine at Midnight – Foo Fighters
- Departures – Jon Foreman
- Old Church Basement – Elevation Worship
The Dec. 31 episode of Locked On Boston Bruins was all about Zdeno Chara. I prepared more notes for this episode than any other over the past 15 months, and I thought I’d post them here to actually make use of this website. Plus, it was the Joe Thornton trade that first pushed into writing my hockey feelings, and I thought it was only fitting to do the same for Zee 15 years later.
1. How it happened
Chara on Instagram:
“My family and I have been so fortunate to call the great city of Boston our home for over 14 years. Recently, The Boston Bruins have informed me that they plan to move forward with their many younger and talented players and I respect their decision. Unfortunately, my time as the proud Captain of the Bruins has come to an end.
I want to first of all thank the passionate and loyal Bruins fans, who shared the ups and downs of each season over the past 14 years. I’m proud that we were able to return the Stanley Cup to Boston and celebrating with all of you, in Boston, New England, and around the world, was a moment I will never forget. You all have treated my family and me as one of your own and I will always be grateful. Thank you.
I would also like to thank all of the Bruins staff. The trainers, equipment staff, medical staff (all doctors, dentists and therapists), PR and hockey operations, the front office staff, arena staff, security and everyone who helped make the past 14 years so memorable. While there are too many names to mention, please know how sincerely grateful I am to each of you.
I want to thank the Jacobs family for the opportunity to represent the Bruins as their Captain. I am grateful and proud of everything we accomplished.
To all of my teammates throughout the years in Boston, I am so lucky to have a lifetime of memories that I will never forget. From the highest highs to the lowest lows, we were always a team, we were always there for each other and those bonds and friendships will never be forgotten.
My family and I will always cherish the strong friendships and connections we made here. From the beginning in 2006, we have been embraced by this community and made to feel welcome. We will always be grateful for the opportunity to contribute to the community and for the people who always supported me and my family.
As I begin this next chapter, I want the people of Boston to know how proud I was to be a Bruin and how grateful I am for all of the support over the years. “Thank you” does not seem adequate to express my sincere gratitude. I will always be a Bruin. I will always love Boston.
“We are extremely pleased to have Zdeno join the Capitals organization,” said Capitals GM Brian MacLellan. “We feel his experience and leadership will strengthen our blueline and our team.”
2. How we got here:
Chara on Sept 3:
“I feel strong physically…I’m positive and I believe I can still play this game and contribute to the team and I want to stay in Boston. I want to be a Boston Bruin. I want to continue to lead by example and share my experiences and my game skills with the younger players and my teammates. That hasn’t changed. I’m committed. We’ll see what’s gonna happen next.
“I’m committed to the Boston Bruins. I’m committed to the Boston fans and the City of Boston,” said Chara. “I think I expressed that a number of times. I’m excited about the future of this team. We are gonna do whatever we can to win another Stanley Cup. I can’t really reflect on some of the rumors. I have not heard any of these rumors directly and I dismissed any comments or conversations about this matter [during the season] because it might cause unnecessary distractions to my teammates and the organization.
“I expressed to my agent that I would like him to meet with management and make that my priority, the sooner the better, and see what the future holds.”
Cam Neely on Dec. 21
“We do want to take a look at some of these young left-shot D’s that we have in our system, see if they can step up, or is it the time for them to step up and see where they’re at in their development,” Neely said. “We certainly respect Zdeno and everything he’s done for the organization and what he’s accomplished as a player and what he’s done both on and off the ice here in Boston.”
Neely added: “I still think we’d like to still explore our back end a little bit. Even though we feel we’ve got some guys that can step in, it’s just a matter of the experience piece that everybody likes, but you don’t get experience until you play.”
3. The Aftermath
Bruins GM Don Sweeney
“The single most unrewarding phone call I had [on Wednesday], to hear from [agent] Matt [Keator] and speak with Zdeno in what his decision ended up being,” Sweeney said during a video conference on Thursday morning. “Zdeno…he walks in his own shadow, literally and figuratively. It was extremely difficult to go through the whole process…this extended over months and we gave him all the latitude in the world to make what was ultimately his decision, he and his family’s decision alone.
“I wanted to make sure that we did that with the utmost respect that we possibly could…Zdeno is forever a member of the Boston Bruins and will be enshrined in both the Hall of Fame and, in my humble opinion, in the rafters amongst the greatest to ever wear a Boston Bruins uniform.
“I want to make sure it’s abundantly clear that we had multiple, multiple discussions with Zdeno and Matt Keator,” said Sweeney. “Very appreciative of all the dialogue and both sides being honest in terms of where they were. We had certainly offered a contract to Zdeno months ago and he indicated he wanted time to continue to work through, again, where he felt he was at, where the league was at and the return to play protocols, and the role we were describing and hoping to integrate him into with our hockey club.”
Sweeney added that the club was up front with Chara about its desire to “to integrate some of the younger players that have had an opportunity to develop in our system and us trying to see whether they were capable of handling minutes and situations that they had not been exposed to.” He also said that the Bruins did not lay out any specific parameters during the negotiations in regard to a number of games or minutes that Chara would be assigned moving forward.
“We describe it as an integrated role and just didn’t make a categorical promise that he would have the exact same role that he had had in his 14 [seasons] – a historic career with the Boston Bruins,” Sweeney went on to explain. “I was very sad. It’s an unrewarding aspect of the job to see a player like that choose to leave.”
Capital D Zdeno Chara
“I want to mention that I believe Don Sweeney negotiated in good faith, and I appreciated the way everything was communicated to me and he was very open to me,” Chara said. “We had a number of conversations, he made it clear what conditions and what role I would be taking with the organization if I returned.
“But I just felt what was presented to me and what conditions were attached to it, I just felt that I had more to offer and I respect their decisions and wish them the best. But I just felt I can still play regularly and play the games and I have no issues with them going a different direction, I just feel like for me at this point in my career it’s better if I continue to play.”
“I respect the way it was communicated to me. We had a number of conversations,” Chara said. “Early on, it was probably a little bit unknown what the role would be, but as the conversations progressed toward the end, it was very clear to me that I would not be in the starting lineup for the season or starting some games or playing some back-to-back games. I would be more of a reserve type of player.
“I have no issue with that, and a lot of credit to Don Sweeney for how he handled the situation. For me, I felt it would be a better fit for me if I find a better role with another team and step aside and let the Bruins go with the direction they chose to do.”
4. Career to date
Chara, 43, recorded 14 points (5g, 9a) in 68 games with the Boston Bruins last season. The Trencin, Slovakia, native registered 3:11 of penalty kill time per game to rank 11th in the NHL and help the Bruins to the third best penalty kill percentage last season (84.3). Chara also finished second among Bruins defensemen in blocked shots (101).
Prior to joining Washington, Chara was the longest-tenured captain in the league, having worn the “C” for the Bruins since his first season in Boston in 2006-07. Standing 6-foot-9 and weighing 250 pounds, he is also the tallest player to ever play in the NHL. Chara is entering his 23rd career season in the NHL. Among active NHL players, Chara ranks first in plus/minus (+288), time on ice (37,128:55), penalty minutes (1,956), third in games played (1,553) and ninth in shots (3,271). He is one of six Bruins to appear in at least 1,000 games (1,023), and his 481 points (148g, 333a) rank third among Bruins defensemen in franchise history, behind Hall of Famers Ray Bourque (1,506) and Bobby Orr (888).
In 1,553 career regular season games with the Bruins, New York Islanders and Ottawa Senators – the sixth-most games in NHL history among defensemen – Chara has 656 points (205g, 451a).
A Stanley Cup champion with Boston in 2011, Chara became the second European-born captain to win the Stanley Cup (Nicklas Lidstrom) and the first from a country behind the Iron Curtain (Czechoslovakia). Chara has recorded 70 points (18g, 52a) in 195 playoff games, the ninth-most playoff games by a defenseman in NHL history and the most among active defensemen.
Over his 22-year NHL career, Chara has received several individual accolades. He was awarded the Norris Trophy as the NHL’s best defenseman in 2008-09 after recording a career-high 19 goals and 31 assists in 80 games with Boston. He was the recipient of the Mark Messier Leadership Award in 2010-11 for his exemplary leadership both on and off the ice. He was named to the NHL First All-Star Team three times (2003-04, 2008-09, 2013-14), the Second All-Star Team four times (2005-06, 2007-08, 2010-11, 2011-12) and is a six-time NHL All-Star (2002-03, 2006-07, 2007-08, 2008-09, 2010-11, 2011-12). He was also the recipient of the Golden Puck as Slovakia’s Player of the Year three times (2008-09, 2010-11, 2011-12).
Chara has represented his home country of Slovakia in international play on several occasions, including three Olympics (2006, 2010, 2014), in which he has scored one goal and five assists in 17 games. Most recently, Chara served as alternate captain for Team Europe at the 2016 World Cup of Hockey, notching two goals in six games to help lead the team to a second-place finish to Team Canada.
Chara was originally selected by the New York Islanders in the third round (56th overall) of the 1996 NHL Entry Draft.
5. personal Reflection
I was gutted when the Bruins traded Joe Thornton in 2005. After the Cam Neely / Ray Bourque eras had come to an end, he was the future, my next pillar of Bruins fandom. That all came crashing down, but less than a year later the Bruins took advantage of a poor decision by the Ottawa Senators and convinced the Big Man to be their next big thing.
For the past 14 years, Chara has typified what it means to be a Bruins on and off the ice. He was big and mean and excelled at both ends of the ice, and he was also kind and welcoming and created a no bullshit culture in the locker room (sometimes at the expense of looser canons who didn’t quite fit the new mold). He won a Norris, a Stanley Cup, recorded the fastest shot in NHL history, served as his country’s flag bearer at the 2014 Olympics, signed extension after extension, played in the Cup Final with a broken GD jaw, and came painfully close to finishing his career the right way – as a Stanley Cup champion.
But as we all know, storybook endings aren’t the norm, and here we are a week away from training camp with a bunch of question marks on the blue line and Chara in Washington.
The Bruins committed to Matt Grzelyck, signed Jakub Zboril to a 1-way deal, Jeremy Lauzon and Urho are Vaikannainen looking for reps, John Moore is still a thing, and Connor Clifton and Kevan Miller are there to round out the right side after Charlie McAvoy and Brandon Carlo.
The Bruins also have $2,982,686 in cap space and may still be looking to add via signing or trades.
From my perspective, as long as Chara wanted to play for the organization, you let him stick around. Youth movements need mentors. I’m honestly fine with giving Zboril and Lauzon and Vaak a look on the left side – these are 1st and 2nd round picks and there could and should be something there. But it didn’t have to come at the expense of one the greatest Bruins of all time.
In fact you could easily argue the kids would be much better off long term with him around this season. Like I’ve been saying for weeks, he’s a valuable 3rd pair, penalty killing defenseman who could be deployed late in games when the opposing goalie is pulled.
Quite simply, Chara should have finished his career in black and gold.
I still think the Bruins are fine up front and in net, and there’s still time and cap space to make adjustments on defense before and during the season. Big picture, though: Torey Krug is gone, Tuukka Rask and David Krejci are one year away from free agency, Patrice Bergeron and Brad Marchand aren’t getting any younger. The Bruins as we’ve known them over the past decade and a half are nearing the end, and gord knows what lies on the other side. Neely and Sweeney have made their decisions and are committing to seeing what they have in prospects they’ve drafted and developed.
If it doesn’t pay off, it will likely cost them their jobs if the building process ends up amounts to a house of cards.
That’s it for today’s special episode of Locked On Boston Bruins. We will be back on Monday January 4th on a daily basis and with all the latest from training camp.
As has become tradition, here’s my reading list for 2020. My favourites are in bold!
- Edge of Eternity (The Century Trilogy, #3) by Ken Follett
- Dear Church: A Love Letter from a Black Preacher to the Whitest Denomination in the US by Lenny Duncan
- Catch and Kill by Ronan Farrow
- Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
- Everything Belongs by Richard Rohr
- World Without End by Ken Follett
- A Column of Fire by Ken Follett
- The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
- The Testaments by Margaret Atwood
- You’re A Miracle (and a Pain in the Ass) by Mike McHargue
- Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry
- Native by Katilin Curtice
- A Wind At The Door by Madeleine L’Engle
- The Last Train To London by Meg Waite Clayton
- After Dark by Haruki Murakami
- Recursion by Blake Crouch
- Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel
- Deacon King Kong by James McBride
- The Power of Ritual by Casper Ter Kuile
- Bring Up The Bodies by Hilary Mantel
- The Evening and the Morning by Ken Follett
- Troubled Blood by Robert Galbraith
- The Mirror and the Light by Hilary Mantel
- Broken Signposts by N.T. Wright
- Anxious People by Fredrik Backman
- The Camel Club by David Baldacci
- Dark Matter by Blake Crouch
- Stcamore Row by John Grisham
- Everything is Spiritual by Rob Bell
Wow, it has been a long time since I posted anything on this website but 2020 am I right?
One thing that’s kept me going this year has been good new music, and here are my favourite albums from 2020 in no partiocular order.
- Half Moon Light – The Lone Bellow
- Targets – Derek Webb
- Campfire Chords – Arkells
- Imploding the Mirage – The Killers
- Out of Body – NEEDTOBREATHE
- Peopled With Dreams – John Mark McMillan
- LIVE DRUGS – The War on Drugs
- The Ascension – Sufjan Stevens
- folklore / evermore – Taylor Swift
- LP2 – Lo Tom
The Guelph Nighthawks have set their roster for the 2020 CEBL Summer Series, with seven new players joining the five who remain from last year’s inaugural squad.
Here’s a look at the names called by Head Coach and General Manager Charles Kissi:
“I’m excited about the group we put together. I think we have a good balance of rounded basketball players. Our guys have bought in and worked extremely hard over our training camp,” Kissi said.
“These guys are going to have to come in and compete every day,” he added. “It’s that type of daily competition that will help establish the winning culture we’re focused on building in this organization.”
As mentioned, the roster features five members of the 2019 team, including Olu Famutimi (who I wrote about here), Myles Charvis, Jabari Craig, Jamal Reynolds and Kimbal Mackenzie.
The the new group of seven includes five Canadians (Marcus Anderson, Tyrrel Tate, Joel Friesen, Corey Johnson and Tyrell Green) and two internationally designated players (Americans Tre’Darius McCallum from the NBA G League and Jonathan Arledge from the French Pro A Jeep Elite League).
Here’s a few players I’m most excited to watch:
- The Nighthawks selected Marcus Anderson with the third overall selection in the 2020 CEBL – U SPORTS Draft, following a five-year championship-filled career at Carleton University. Anderson is known as one of the top defenders in the country, and was named the U SPORTS and OUA Defensive Player of the Year in 2017-18 and 2018-19. Anderson’s Carleton Ravens were crowned U SPORTS National Champions in four of his five years at the Ottawa school, including the most recent 2019-20 season.
- Joel Friesen was selected first overall draft pick at the 2019 CEBL Entry Draft and signed with the Nighthawks after a stellar rookie season with the Fraser Valley Bandits. The 6-foot-5 Canadian previously starred for the University of Alberta, leading the Golden Bears to 2nd and 3rd place finishes at the USPORTS Final 8 Men’s Basketball Championship.
- Tyrrel Tate is a Calgary native who grew up in North Carolina. He spent three seasons in the NBA’s G League, most recently in the Washington Wizards organization as a member of the Capital City Go-Go. Like Friesen, Tate was a mainstay in the lineup for the Fraser Valley Bandits in 2019, starting 18 games, scoring 14.2 points and adding 4.3 rebounds and 2.4 assists per game. He most recently played in the Mexican CIBACOPA, where averaged 17.8 points per game.
- Lastly, we have American small forward Tre’Darius McCallum of the NBA G League’s Windy City Bulls. As a starter this past season with the Chicago Bulls G-League affiliate, McCallum averaged 11.2 points, 3.5 rebounds and 2.8 made three-point field goals per game. There’s definitely a lot to like about his game:
I’ve greatly enjoyed getting to know more about these players and their respective journeys that have landed them in Guelph, and I’m excited to see what they can do as a group over the next few weeks.
The CEBL Summer Series tips off on Saturday, July 25th with a nationally broadcast double-header (CBC), beginning with the Nighthawks versus the Ottawa BlackJacks at 3:50pm ET.
The Summer Series will culminate with the CEBL Championship on August 9th.
If ever Olu Famutimi dreamed of playing basketball anywhere close to his hometown, it was no doubt as a member of the Toronto Raptors.
The 36-year-old is indeed playing professional basketball in Ontario, but the talons on his jersey come in the form of Nighthawks, not dinos.
It’s a hard turn from a once promising career that began in Toronto and migrated to Flint Northwestern High School in Michigan, where he was named a 2003 McDonald’s High School Basketball All American alongside some guy named LeBron James.
Like many young Canadian hoops fans, Famutimi grew up idolizing Vince Carter. He was well on his way to being drafted to the NBA when he tore his ACL while landing a dunk while playing for the University of Arkansas. Despite the devastating injury, he elected to enter the 2005 NBA Draft, where he was passed over entirely.
He did earn a couple cups of NBA coffee with the San Antonio Spurs and the Philadelphia 76ers, even appearing in a few preseason games before being waived. Over the past 15 years, he’s bounced around several pro leagues around Europe and North America, even playing for Canada’s men’s national basketball team.
Famutimi was named MVP of Guelph’s Canadian Elite Basketball League squad after the Royal City’s inaugural season in 2019, and he currently has his eyes set on leading the Nighthawks to a Summer Series tournament win when CEBL resumes player later this month.
The long road back to basketball relevance made last year’s team MVP win that much sweeter.
“I never really expected that award at the point of my career that I’m at right now, so it was really a blessing and a testimony to the hard work that I’ve been putting in over the years,” Famutimi said.
Famutami averaged 15.1 points, 4.8 rebounds and 2.4 assists per game for Guelph last season, and while he didn’t lead the club in any of those categories, his journey certainly affords him an extra level of leadership and perspective that truly defines his value.
“Olu became a staple in our locker room last season, showing our younger players the work ethic and dedication required to excel at the professional level,” Head Coach & GM Charles Kissi said at the time of Famutami’s re-signing. “His steady presence was influential as we started to mold the culture of our club in the second half of the season. We’re excited to have Olu back, and I believe being the first signing of the upcoming season is representative of his role as a core leader in 2020.”
The 2020 season did not play out as anyone expected, but Famutami is excited about the format nonetheless.
“I like everything about it. Considering the situation, we’re lucky to even be able to actually have a season. The structure of the tournament is amazing, and I think the Elam Ending is going to make things really intense,” he said.
Indeed, the part of the CEBL decision to turn the season into a single-site tournament, rather than the 20-game regular season was the institution of the Elam Ending, which sees teams play to a target score at the end of the fourth quarter rather than the typical conclusion of the clock. As a result, every game has a game winning basket, making for a much more exciting finish.
Expect the MVP to be a vocal party in those late-game huddles and a key contributor in Guelph’s efforts to win the championship.
Lord knows he’s paid his dues.
Like it or not, it appears as though sports will attempt to be a thing as we continue to wade through a global pandemic, and the Canadian Elite Basketball League (CEBL) is set to tip off a special Summer Series on July 25.
It will be the first live professional sports action in Canada since the COVID-19 outbreak in March, and the league’s seven teams will convene in St. Catharines, Ontario for a 26-game competition that ends August 9 with the CEBL Championship game.
These dates, of course, are subject to any regression in Ontario’s phased-in reopening process.
While you can expect some CEBL content on this website over the summer (specifically in relation to the Guelph Nighthawks), I wanted to start by highlighting the new ball (please say it aloud like Hedo Turkoglu) they’ll be playing with this summer.
Per the official release:
The CEBLxSpalding TF-1000 Legacy ball, featuring a new design with black panels and a microfiber composite leather cover, will be used for all 26 games of the CEBL Summer Series. With a deep channel design for superior control, the ball is Official NBA size and weight (Size 7). It will feature the official CEBL logo, the signature of league commissioner Mike Morreale, and the league’s Twitter handle, @CEBLeague, embossed in gold foil on the black panels.
Basketball and maybe soccer are unique in that the design of the ball is actually kind of important, since it can actually be seen in-play. That allows for some looks that actually matter, and this one is pretty rad. On top of that, you can even grab your own, and there’s nothing quite like shooting around in the schoolyard on a hot summer night with a ball used by the pros.
“Spalding has been integral to basketball for more than a century, yet they’re still an industry leader when it comes to innovation and contemporary design,” said CEBL Commissioner Mike Morreale. “The CEBLxSpalding TF1000 Legacy reflects the CEBL’s vibrant brand. We’re about presenting world class basketball in a new way, and we
will be showcasing that to a national and international viewing audience during the upcoming CEBL Summer Series. As one of our premier partners, Spalding will be at the heart of every highlight and game-winning basket.”
The Nighthawks will begin Summer Series action on July 25 against the The expansion Ottawa BlackJacks at 3:50 p.m. ET.
All games will be available to stream in CBC.
Last week, I found myself playing with a new toy I received from Lauren and the boys for Father’s Day, desperately trying to remember the name of a band I had on heavy rotation 20 years ago.
For a summer job in the year 2000, I decided to forego the comforts of one Salvation Army camp for another, ending my 3-year career at Roblin Lake (RIP) and travelling to the wilds of Maine for a 2-month counsellor gig.
This was pretty big for me, to be honest. Looking back, I can’t recall ever having gone anywhere on my own like that. My semester at University the previous year had been in Ottawa where I grew up, and all my previous camp experiences had been alongside trusted buds.
Even when we were mandated to quit attending a camp in Quebec for one on Ontario, friends were there. That summer, though, my parents were dropping me off and I was hoping to connect with someone, anyone who could even come close to replicating the type of friend I’d made at my old camp.
That all fell into place pretty quickly, thank goodness. During orientation games, someone made a poop joke and I affirmed it by stating “poop’s funny.” Just like that, I was the funny new kid. I became pals with some amazing Camp Sebago veterans who brought me with them on runs into town, invited me to a Bible study group, and made me feel at home.
But it wasn’t all perfect. I distinctly remember waking up some mornings and prying myself out of bed with the self-assurance that this would be the furthest I’d be from returning to my camp-issued cozy red blankets added into my sleeping bag for warmth on the unseasonably cold and rainy mornings.
If someone were to ask me how to define depression, or where I maybe started to realize I had an anxiety disorder, that would be the answer right there.
It was odd, really. I was having a great time, and would return for each of the following 3 summers – including the month-long pre-camp and while inviting friends from college to come along and partake in the wonders of New England.
But on those mornings, I could not shake the feeling that something was very wrong deep inside me.
Which brings me to Bleach, the name of that obscure 90s Christian band.
I was able to travel home for a long break in August that summer, bringing a friend home who meant a great deal to me during those summers, although I didn’t realize how much too late. I picked a Bleach CD (congrats if you guessed that was the band) and had this song on repeat for days:
And I can’t wait to get out of here
And I can’t fake through this pain I’ll feel
It’s been too long, that I’ve been gone
But now I’m coming back, I’m coming back
So long, it’s gone, this burden that I carry
And I’ll give it all to you, to you
And I’ll give it all to you, to you, to you
And I wade out and the waves are bigger
I can’t sort through all this junk so I’ll surrender
And I’ve gone on, way too long
And now I’ve had enough, I’ll give it up to you
This storm is great, but you are so much greater
I’ll give it all to you, to you
And I’ll give it all to you, to you, to you
And I’ll give it all to you, to you
And I’ll give it all to you, to you, to you
And I can’t wait to see you standing there so bright and special
And all the waves that crashed around my head
Fall silent at the whisper of your voice.
20 years later, this incredibly mediocre tune still resonates. I’ve woken up with that familiar, nagging feeling during this period of physical distancing, and calling out to the Nest Mini for another spin of this tune has actually helped a lot.
No idea why I’m sharing that story today, other than I remembered I have a website and thought I should probably start using it again.
Take care of yourselves, friends.